Trust.

My post for the WAGI (We Are Grafted In)/Sparrow Fund website for this month. 
You can visit their website by clicking here.
Go read and be encouraged.

As a mother, I am always measuring my parenting by the Word.

I especially desire to have my parenting be a foundation for my children as they begin to develop a relationship with God of their own. My prayer and my hope is that the things I have taught them, the way I have disciplined them and trained them, the character I have shown them will be a good reflection of our Heavenly Father. I know that I am not perfect and that I will make mistakes, but my desire is that my parenting and actions help them to have an accurate idea of who the Father is.

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This is my desire for all of my children,
but I can see the need for this even more clearly with my adoptive children.

And so often as a parent, you learn about God from your children.

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But even more so, with my adoptive children,
I see the parallels of myself and my own salvation.

I can see how much they need to see a reflection of that kind of love through me, because I remember how much I needed to know that love. I remember how hurt and bruised and empty and broken and distrustful of people I was when I first came to Him. I remember how I had grossly inaccurate perspectives of the kind of God He was. I remember how much I needed to learn to trust Him.

Trust.

Years of suspicion, fear, rejection.
Being let down and forgotten.
Stepped on, abused, taken advantage of.

This was me at once.
To some degree this was my children.
This was some of you in one form or another before we knew Him,
or when we have walked away and rejected His love.

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I see a HUGE need for me to teach all my children to TRUST me,
and especially my adoptive children.

What they deeply need me to instill in their hearts with my everyday actions is that they can TRUST me. They can trust my love for them and ultimately God’s love. To show them I will be faithful to love and forgive them, stand by and defend them. And that when I make mistakes, I will honestly seek forgiveness and own up to my own wrong actions.

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I know this may sound elementary.
I know you guys have all read the Connected Child. ;)

But I think if you’re like me and miss it sometimes
ok
ALOT,
you probably need to be reminded of these things sometimes,
who are we kidding,
ALOT.

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When I am trying to control myself as I kindly correct my child, and they hear that slightly detectable change of tone and completely shut-down.

I hear the voice of the Lord whispering,
“Teach them they can trust you. Teach them they can trust Me.”

And I remember how patient the Father is with me.

When I see them again doing that behavior I thought we had addressed.

I remember how faithful God has been to me to help me renew my mind to His Word.

When I see them have a physical need and not come to me with it for help,
either from lack of sensitivity to pain or from the lingering misconception that nobody cares.

I remember how loving and gentle the Father was to me as the wounds of my past healed.

My actions need to help them build trust in me.
This year.
Next year.
As long as it takes.

Just like I had to learn and am still learning to trust My Heavenly Father.

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That I can come to Him when I am sad, nothing is too small for Him.
I can come to Him when I am fearful, nothing is too BIG for Him.
When I need provision, there is Someone who is faithful to His promises.
When I am distrustful of people, I can remember His forgiveness and love for me.

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Help my actions in parenting, Lord, to help my children trust you more.
Help them to trust me and my love for them, Lord.

And help me to be faithful to the task, worthy of the calling.
I pray that when I am tested that I will remember all You have done for me,
how patient You have been with me, how much You love me, and I will use that wisdom as I teach and train my children.
Help them to turn from the fear and rejection they may have known to the freedom of love, faith and trust.
I know that you are the Healer and are working in us spirit, soul and body to make us whole.
Thank you for your grace to finish the race you have set before us.

This guy!

Every adoption story has been different,

unique it’s own way.

Just like every one of my birth stories has been different and unique.

God is such a good writer.

I think He writes the BEST stories!

And this little guy’s story is beginning to be written into our lives
and our lives into his.

This part of the story that tells about how God prepared our hearts and life to receive him into it, will only be a small part of the story. But one that will be fun to tell none the less.

I can’t wait to share it with him!

And I am so interested to see what his story will look like when he joins our family.

That is always an interesting part of the waiting game.

Trying to think of what life will be like when they are here.

How will things change?
Who will it affect the most and how?
What kind of coping mechanism will he have?
How will he handle this transition?

Because Lily and Judah were both VERY different reactions, and so far this journey has been VERY different than the other two. I have a feeling little man will also be unique in his own way post Gotcha Day.

Waiting has always been the difficult part for me, but this time around I feel such a peace about it. I don’t know if it is because of experience, because I’m too busy to be consumed, or because some great aunt somewhere is is praying fervently for me, but anyway it’s been a nice change.

I have actually enjoyed the times that I have had to imagine him here with us. I just feels like a perfect fit and it never leaves me feeling overwhelmed with impatience. Instead I feel a sweetness, maybe finally understanding that this time is about preparation.

And without this sweet time of preparation, roots can’t grow deep, hearts can’t be made ready for the perseverance that may need to follow.

We get instructions during preparation.

So instead of struggling, I’m snuggling.

Listening and learning.

Enjoying the journey as God prepares our family for this guy.
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Ps. I love that they dresses him like Flavor Flav.
Pps. We are logged in and out of translation. Looking for LOA around mid to late April.